what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

What did david give back? Nothing.

Why can't you look at the sun? Because it's 2.00 AM

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

why was it sad that 3 men were crossing rail road tracks in a toyota and got hit by a train? they ruined the Toyota

What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

A man walks into a bar. -Can I ask where am I? - he sais -Yes, you can. - sais the barman Awkward silence occurs. -Why aren't you asking? I said you can.

A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

McDonald. It's run by Lawers

How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

why did the man drop his razor? he had a seizure.

Golgo12 here, I can see how some people consider you insane Nero, glad to know point zero is the starting ground of your elysum, that should show them how a modern society should be like. You got six years left to live? That sucks man sorry to hear that. Ur real name is Nero? Axel Knight sounds so much more... You.

What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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