A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

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After finishing reading this sentence, read it again and you might or might not realise that there is a secret subliminal message in this sentence making you do something later tonight. Can you spot it?

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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

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do you have a wife?

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Knock knock What?

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yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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