What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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what happens when a white guy goes to harlem he gets robbed by 5 to 10 black men

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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A priest and a rabii walk into a bar. Both men, despite both being good people and well respected in their communities, aren't able to overcome their differences which are signified by their religions. Both men later leave the bar and surround themselves with people of their own kin.

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There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

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Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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mark is life

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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69

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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what does a granny look best in? 1950

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Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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