What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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Three men walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would of ducked?

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Nuneaton..

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Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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What super hero did they choose to be on the Blue Jays' team? Batman!

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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