What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

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What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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A horse walks into a barn.

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Death is inevitable.

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What does the name Joe mean? Joe Mama! Egit

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

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What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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Your Mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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