What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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What do you call an Asian man in a car? A motorist.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you accent is really not hiding it

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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