What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

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3.14159365358979323846264

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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Whats Bin Laden's favorite store 9/11

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

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Women's Rights

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops