If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

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why did the boy have to go to the dentist he was hit by a brick

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? The person who made that "joke" down there has no life ?

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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A man walks into a bar, then he leaves and goes home

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A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

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I'm a boy... I like hamburgers... Xbox is my favorite activity.... I have a dog... My dad is cheap... He's my doctor, my dentist, and my mom... Haha get it?

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What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

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Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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My parents have an open marriage.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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