My parents have an open marriage.

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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What do you call a clock that has no sense of time? .....Broken.

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What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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