What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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???????????? WTF?

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why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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