What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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???????????? WTF?

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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Knock Knock Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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