Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

Cows are land manatees.

I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

nipple

What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

So a man walks into a bar, right?

Knock Know! Come in!

Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

Starting a Genocide #YOLO

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...