What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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John Travolta goes to the supermarket..

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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Limerick There once was a man from mass whos balls were made out of brass he clank them together to make stormy weather and lightning came out of his ass

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What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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What happen? Idk...

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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Jesse gets so many ladies

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

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You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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