Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Where are you going Your house

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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WHATS A SHIT HOLE MOUNTNORRIS !!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

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Dude, i know this guy, who knew this guy named Ben, who knew this guy named Valen, who knew this guy named Chad and he said.... Ben's Dead.

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Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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