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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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What worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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Cheese stick

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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I am a joke. I am funny.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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