My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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HURT

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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Mullets

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

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Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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