Your grandma's cookies.

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

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-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

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Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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