you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I'm hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a woman votes!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -3

5

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? nothing because they were both cupcakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops