What is a chair?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih tzu? A new breed of dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Rachel not blowing Robert.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How much jizz does a gay guy have? A: a butt load

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Romans rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

2 guys get into a fight over a girl.....the girl walks out

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops