Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What comes after 69? 70

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Delaware? A coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How old is Batman? Old enough to be a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats funny about female tennage life? SELF HARM OOOOO YEAHHHH

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops