Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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Your all fags

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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i am and me is i

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what's orange, round, that like to play and kill poeple and not in a video game? a) a freaking orange b) a super ball c) a dog painted in orange d) samus aran e) none of the previous answer

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we all know sammi has a penis

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

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a man walks into a bar he got hurt

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust. A: Me not getting my Christmas presents.

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

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A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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