Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

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Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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Why was the youtube like bar green? Because the graphics designer felt like making it green. =.=

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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why doesnt jesus play hockey? he got nailed to the boards

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A white man, a black man, and a Hispanic man are in car, who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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What did one volcano say to the other? Hey.... wana get some lunch... later, not now of course it's WAAAAY TOO EARLY!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

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Knock knock ... *No ones home*

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Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it followed the trail of bird feed strewn across it.

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Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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Womens rights

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops