Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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i have a christmas tree.

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roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

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Hello

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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Religion.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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irish wristwatch JLR

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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