It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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Vicky is my best friend.

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops