How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

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Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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Hey, wanna hear a penis joke? Nevermind, it's too long.

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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yo mamas so cruchy people might mistake her for a cheeto!

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what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops