why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

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once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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A midget walks under a bar

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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