roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

its my money!, but i dont need it right away

What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

Knock knock. Racism.

I killed someone today. :D

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...