A man walks into a bar... "Ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats brown and sticky? shit

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

thumb_up thumb_down +1

- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what does a man with no leg say to a woman with one eye? hello. by Mad James

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

meh

thumb_up thumb_down -1

fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops