Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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What's clear and wet? water

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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Austin is gay. He goes to River Road. And is a sophomore.

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why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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This is a joke. Laugh!

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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Santa isn't real

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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