What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

Breast cancer.

Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

Gun Control

Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

I like it in the butt. - Tyler James Nehring. Call me if you want to give me the d. 863-670-1547

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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