Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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Dylan is gay

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your social life.

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what does a man with no leg say to a woman with one eye? hello. by Mad James

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What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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meh

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

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Woman's rights

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops