A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -13

AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hehe and Haha are best friends. One day, Haha died. What did Hehe do? He said "Haha! you died!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

can i have a cookie no diabeto!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

out of your comfort zone

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than seeing Levi naked? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the difference between a box of dead babies and a corvette? I don't have a corvette in my garage!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Dylan is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -15

OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops