what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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What is the best anti joke? Dunno cant think of one

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the situation -Tag

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? The The Who? YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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What do you call two black men and a hispanic man in the back of a car? The punchline of this joke is offensive, and might bring legal troubles to Anti-Joke.Com and it's subsidiaries. For these reasons, Anti-Joke.Com will not allow it to be shown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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