question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

God

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's worst than being gay? being black

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats fat and ugly ? aidan slattery

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two gays walk into a bar, they are then kicked out by the homophobic owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops