whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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yes... that's the joke

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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