Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

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Reverse psychology never fails.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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Women.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

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Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

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Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops