Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

Aaron Pfeifer likes men

- Knock knock - Who's th.....AIDS

Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

Your Mum's so fat, she's going to die.

Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

Why is this funny? cause it is funny

Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

Q /why do people eat dinner? A/ because their hungry

Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

I have down syndrome. -RDV

So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...