Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

Knock, Knock Who's there ? So So who? No, So Lee

A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

Cinema summer shits coming this year! Reboot edition ONE! Rocky BarBoler a older man with dreams of becoming a true boxing champion!... but will he succeed against the champion Apollo thirteen? Watch ROCKY To find out. Starring Mike Tyson as Rocky, and Justin Bieber as Apollo thirteen (Do I need remind you Rocky lost in his first movie?, Well that one is for you "Beleibers" because in the end you are misguided cuties.. most way to young for me, but you are as cute as you are silly). Moral: Loves cute girls... especially those over 16... legal age here... good luck calling us all pedophiles... They mature fast here, "beliebe" me, twelve year olds have fully grown boobs... what did you think I meant by cute? RAWR! Look but no touch is a okay for me mama Luigi. I just tend to call me once they turn 16...

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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