What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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