how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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What's five times 10? Sixty, you retarded fuck.

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

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What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate your mom.

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A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

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What did the hispanic guy say after he took a bite out of a McDonald's hot n' spicy chicken sandwhich. I'm lovin' it.

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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You have 6 basketballs. One rolls away. How many do you have? None because your family has a low income, lives in a broken down trailer, and has 5 other kids to supply for.

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what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

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Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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