Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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a pig ate a hobo, the hobo was a blind rapist from canada

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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Kefka > Sephiroth

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What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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If life throws you melons... ouch

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Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

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Charlotte Bobcats

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Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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