Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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What's worse than a joke. ONE TOLD BY FOK.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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That's what SHE said!

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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you know what is so funny?! jokes..................................

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Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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