I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

- What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? - The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

if I was a girl I would be touching my self everywhere if I was a girl as a boy I would make a diffrence in poltics but thats not gonna happen.

Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

wuts the diference between a black guy and arab? black guy kills whitye guy arab lijkes black guy (no jews or **** thou)

"You two form fours while I get the other one"

Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he was stupid.

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

what the difference between Obama and osama bin laden nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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