An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: wanna hear a racist joke? A: sure RB: You're pathetic!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

thumb_up thumb_down +11

hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How much fun does a gay guy have? A butt load.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops