Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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Whats an Anti Joke

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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bob saget

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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A midget walks under a bar

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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