Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

Mexicans are like waffles

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

What is 6 plus 9? 15.

Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

Bob fell off his roof.

whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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