Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Apple.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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