What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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Why is your face? Because.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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