So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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