Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

PATHETIC

What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...