What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Yes.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Har har hey

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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I'm hungry.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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banana

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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